I've written this post a million times. While falling asleep in bed, on a plane, staring out my office window, sitting in traffic...you get the idea. It was a little different every time but always naturally full of wit, my brand of sarcasm and of course charm. And yet now that it's time to actually post on this topic, my god-given ability to form sentences escapes me. I'm marrying the love of my life. And I'm speechless. Case in point, it's taken me almost a week to develop this post. My first attempt was everything you'd expect...from a drunken, squealing 22 year-old-bride . The second, a highly emotional entirely too personal tribute to my relationship. Neither would do justice, and now we're here which is more about my frustration with finding appropriate adjectives than the fact I'm getting married. Hello?! How do people do this every day as if it's ordinary? I feel anything but! I am invincible, complete, elated, and just one personality ...

Let's forget the "Dear" this time. And the fact that because I've spent so much time flying your friendly skies I have nothing else to talk about but your shortcomings. I'm like the sorry ex-girlfriend that won't shut up about the love she lost. And love I have lost for you, my friend. I forgave and I forgot when you left me stranded in Bentonville, Arkansas during skunk mating season, complete with lots 'o chicken dander, thanks to your broken door. And I assure you, it was extremely painful staring at that plane kissing the jetway knowing it wouldn't fly. But I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Shit happens. Yes, it sure does. You took advantage of my loyalty and held me up in San Antonio. I know, weather. Atlanta in the spring time is a bitch. It's not the weather I blame you for. It's telling me I'm on the earlier flight which was also delayed, and then ripping it from my bosom as if we never loved. Have you no decency? I do ap...