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Showing posts from March, 2010

Everybody Needs a Little Magic

I've asked for a magic wand to teach people to be smart. Or in other words, fix stupid. Which I am incapable of doing on my own. So maybe Merlin will lend a hand and send that wand my way. In the meantime, I'm just going to smile, nod and say "bless your heart" a lot.

Should my wand never materialize, there is fortuntely other magic happening in my life. Today, I was sitting on the floor in front of a full legnth mirror drying my hair, and noticed that the infamous Hub belly was missing. Yes! It was g-o-n-e. I think I was 28 the last time I saw my belly button while sitting down, and there it was...not a roll around it! I'd like to tell you I'm exercising regularily and eating right, but I'm not. I've been limiting my alcohol intake (this is the magic part), and as a result, no bloating and weight loss.

Magically, I am once again a hottie (albeit a little older this time) and I can't wait to wear a bathing suit!

What Does it All Mean?

So today, I'm crusing through World Market buying stuff simply because it's on sale (who doesn't need two sets of beaded string lights?!?), and my sister calls me. It's the middle of the day, and I just talked to her  the day before so I know something's up.  

Turns out, she's been trapped on Facebook and catching up on my blog. She tells me she dreams of the house. Wait. What?

Yep, that house. The one in my very last post. She too has the same dream.

She says it so casually while I, on the other hand, am dumbfounded. She's more interested in the fact that one of her friends announced her marriage on Facebook (eloped to Vegas, smart girl).

My sister's dream isn't a nightmare, but the scenario is the same. She starts by going up the steps (dark wood), going through the rooms (same colors!), and ending up in the attic. She's also looking for something, but she digs through old trunks. In my dream, I go past the trunks...but they are there.

Ok, so …

9, 10 Never Sleep Again

No, I'm not dreaming about Freddy, but it's equally if not more frightening. When they say "morning people" or "night owls", I am definitely a night owl. Or at least I thought I was. My preference might be shifting.

My mood slowly starts to grow darker as the night does the same. I usually go to bed in high spirits, but there is a little voice in my head that screams TAKE THE ADVIL PM. Why? Because I often wake up during the night, and once I do it's game over. I might as well be living in an apocolypic version of the world. In the middle of the night the smallest concerns are equal to the threat of nuclear war and if I don't resolve them by morning, well then I might as well just crawl in a hole and die.

Yes, it's that dramatic. At least until 7am.

Waking up from a nightmare is something else entirely. And I'm having a recurring one again.

On several occasions in the past month, I have dreamed of my grandparent's house. Pop-Pop does…

Check me out...

Blogger made significant improvements to blog template customization, so baby's got a brand new bag. Trying on a new style for a while...how ya' like me now? 

I almost went with books, thinking that by putting pictures of books on my blog I might actually write one.  It felt too, well, "bookish" ...how else to describe the feeling of primary colors in plaid and dark wood. The now present swirls of ecstacy evoke feelings of freedom and whimsy, which is much more my speed.
No, I'm not drinking. I didn't tell you? I've been on the wagon. A little experiment that is so far going fabulously. One day I will look in the mirror and ask myself what the hell I was thinking breaking up with wine so suddenly, but for now I'm enjoying the unexpected drop in poundage, better sleep and clarity. Imagine that. Anyway, I'm just excited for change (and no this not a subtle reference to the Healthcare vote...for the record, I'm happy with my healthcare, thanks, not…

Rich is Relative

Being born into a middle class American family was just lucky. If I ever wanted for anything as a child, I didn't know it. I wasn't spoiled...but was well fed, had your average roof over my head, and got new school clothes every year. My family even took vacations, to places like Disney, but only twice....mostly it was camping.

When I got to college, I realized I was poor in comparison to some of my classmates. Yes school was paid for, but I had to get a job and even then I bounced checks at grocery stores to get cash back. I never went to any place by plane or boat on spring break, and when I graduated I knew I had to get a job or starve.

When I got into the real world making $20K a year I thought I was rich. I learned about things like sushi, fancy cocktails, designer jeans, and the meaning of "trendy"...managing to pull it off because of stores like TJ Maxx and Ross.

When I finally started making a little real money, I realized how poor I had been, and I began en…

How do they do that?

My horoscope for today:

You may be all over the map, distracted by one thing after another now. However, each time you lose your focus, instant karma makes you aware of what you did and swiftly sets you back on track. There isn't much time to waste today if you want to fit in everything that you must accomplish. Luckily, you are able to surpass your own expectations if your intentions are clear.

I am distracted, because the truth of the matter is I have TOO MUCH WORK to do. I'm one person, I have three (or more) jobs. And it doesn't matter how focused I stay, I am  not going to accomplish everything I need to regardless of intention unless a miracle occurs.

Wait for it....

This is what the Universe sent me today:

Those who achieve great things, defeat long odds, and become legends, Courtney, didn't have anything you don't have.
They just kept showing up, expecting a miracle, long after everyone else got practical.

Here comes one now...!

The Universe

About that weekend...

Contrary to expectations, my Saturday night began with what I thought was a lovely dinner and outing with friends, and ended in a first-time ride in the back of an ambulance and three bags of fluid at Piedmont Hospital.

I will spare you the details of my escapade other than to say that it was not pretty and probably the low point of my life in regard to humiliation. The human body can be very, very cruel and unforgiving when given something it does not agree with nor want.

I was so looking forward to our weekend in the city. I did not expect to become aquainted with Piedmont Hospital (which I managed to avoid in the six years I lived there), rather I wanted to be shopping at Ikea and enjoying the dog park. Speaking of our dog, he had a lovely $300 stay at the Hotel Indigo, while I lay awake in a hospital bed and Scott slept in a chair. 

The good coming out of this is the overwhelming sense of love I have for that man who stood by my side (ok, held me up) and did unthinkable things t…

Buyer's Remorse is Relative

The past couple of months I've spent my Saturdays doing house work--painting, drilling, organizing, cleaning. And of course buying--cabinet knobs, area rugs, candles, and all the other little things that make this place a home.

This is the first weekend we haven't had something we *have* to do.  Granted, we spent two hours Friday night painting the ceiling, but getting it done left today wide open. I decided to commit to self-maintenance for the day, so I went and got a mani/pedi and a brow wax, and bought myself some new underwear, and a pair of earrings.

I immediately felt guilty about the earrings because I didn't really need them. I just wanted them. The underwear were essential, for the record.

It occured to me that I sometimes forget I am a woman (in the emoional sense, the physical reminds me every day), and with that comes the right to spoil myself from time to time. It also occured to me that I have not purchased myself clothing since last July...nor a bag, shoes…

WTF?

I'm not sure how you access my blog, but if are visiting the main blog page, you may have noticed that my fonts have fallen out in every section except the most recent post. Why? If you are viewing one post, and not www.bornwithoutay.com home page, it's fine. What's the deal? Opinions and fixes welcome.

My True Calling

So y'all know I'm an INFJ and sometimes an ENFJ. If you don't know what this means, start by going here (or here for the cliff notes), then come back and read on.

Type identification has long been associated with career path. If you're good at X, you should be Y. My X is many things and a very small percentage of the population (I'm special damn it), but my two favorite Y's (besides my blog of course) are "Author/Writer" and "Psychologist".

Since I'm currently not getting paid to do either, I figured, why not try and do both! In my spare time, naturally, because unfortunately my day job, too, is on the list. The goal is to ultimately replace one with the other.

It's true that I write--you are reading, therefore I write--and I have been known to save (or end) a few marriages, and guide people in the right direction using my intuition and crystal ball. In my world, they are now one, and I've been self-treating all this time anyway …

Living in the Moment

Right now, I am working (sort of). And I wouldn't call myself happy, but maybe content. However, I know that tomorrow I will be booked back-to-back all day, and therefore in the present moment I am also anxious because of future events.

I am therefore, not living in the moment.

While I have found that experiencing the "now" does in fact bring more enjoyment, it's incredibly difficult to do, let alone keep up. It's a vicious, evil circle. How can you live it the moment when a decision, task, event--whatever--is imminent and not think, worry, ponder about it?I have learned that living in the "now" can positively impact the "then", whereas living in the "then" during the "now" usually brings negative consequences.

Even knowing that it's still hard to do. So frustrating.

Now, I'm going to go back to work.

County Conscious

If you live in GA and don't spring for the "special" license plates, then you know that at the bottom of the plate there is a sticker identifying the county you live in. I never really thought much about it, until today.

Living at the lake house temporarily, we are now Forsyth County residents. As I have said before, the lake has always been an escape, and with that escape comes the country way of life. It's endearing after a tough work week in the city, and the modified pace makes one stop and smile.

Not so much when you're living here. Now it's just a bunch a stupid hicks that won't get the hell out of my way.

That said, I went to register my car today. After a near traffic stop last night, I figured I'd best be renewing my tags to avoid losing my license, car or otherwise. It was an efficient process and I'm glad to have it behind me.

I will not, however, apply that little sticker that says "Forsyth" to the bottom of my license plate…

The Man in Me

He's screaming to get out and live his intended life.

I realize that statement might sound odd, but being told that someone thought my blog was an homage to  hemaphrodites was too. Seriously. This happened.

I get it, Born Without a Y, although technically hermo's (heard it here first!) have XX and XY chromosomes so they in fact would be born with a Y.  My only hope is that upon reading the blog, and not just the title, the realization was made that I'm just some fabulous female with a lot to say. Quite eloquently I might add.

If I was a hemaphrodite, I suppose I might be pining for a penis and a blog might be the appropriate place to discuss such emotions. But I assure you I am all woman and there is nothing intersexual about me. One male sex organ in my home is quite enough, thank you.

While the hermo thing falls under the category of "doesn't happen every day" and is interesting in itself, I think there is a funnier element to be told. It came to be whi…