Express Yourself

My dog's ass stinks.

Gizmo is a French Bulldog and by nature of his breed he already farts a lot. Lately, it's been unbearable, and he's been hotboxing us in the bed. He'll peek his unbelievabley cute head out of the covers and BAM! you can't breathe for at least three minutes.

If you are a pet owner, dogs specifically, you may be familiar with "expressing the anal glands". Lovely. If you aren't---you squeeze the area around the dogs anus until this awful purple liquid comes out that smells more horrible than anything you could possibly imagine.

He has had his "glands" expressed once before, and it occured to me it may need to happen again based on the stench that follows him throughout the house. But he's also been very sleepy, not eating for days, and not playing---if you know my dog, this is so not normal. Just ask his girlfriend Lincoln, a hot silky gray Wiemaraner. Grrr....

I cautiously made a vet appointment for tomorrow, because I'm that kind of dog person, but also decided I would try and give the little man a little comfort tonight. So first I took him to Red Bandana (health food for dogs) to find some new eats. The guy there was AWESOME--he opened a few bags of food and let Gizmo test them before we found a lovely chicken dish he just had to have. He was so good to me that I even ignored his comment about Gizmo's "gas problem". I know, thank you. He also snorts and snores. He's just like his Daddy.

I also bought some Papaya shampoo-and-conditioner-in-one because it smelled yummy---and bully sticks (bull balls, really), and a center bone. I cannot help spending money on my dog.

We got home and I decided I would try to express those glands myself--yes, I did--cautiously of course. I put him in the tub, turned on the water, and went for it.

There is NO amount of papaya shampoo that could mask the odor of the FEW DROPS I actually accomplished. Disgusting. Blech.

Needless to say, Dr. Cary will have the pleasure of fixing him up right tomorrow, and hopefully this is that's going on with the little guy.


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