Cougar Spotting

They prowl my boyfriend's Facebook page. They wall post about sex that happened 30 years ago (not realizing everyone can see it). I blog about them. Now, they are forever immortalized: Cougar BARBIE! Go watch it now.

God as my witness, I will never be this delusional...or cruise Facebook looking for old hook ups to validate my aging sexuality.

Ew.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Thankful I Suppose

I'm feeling really sorry for myself. I'm doped up on pain killers, watching my stomach turn nine shades of purple and fighting on and off bouts of nausea and headaches. Not how I expected to spend my weekend, or Monday for that matter I suppose. Especially not two weeks before my wedding. And I stink. But it could be worse. I almost died Friday. During this interval of lucidity I'll attempt to tell you why. I warn you, this isn't pretty because it wasn't. And some may ask why I choose to write about it. Well, for one, I certainly don't want to talk about it, and two writing always makes me feel better. Like I can put it past me once it's on paper. I didn't feel well. I left the office around noon, and worked from home. I did a little yoga around six and felt better, so we went to dinner. Around 11pm I felt a demon invade my lower abdomen and try to pull every organ out through my belly button. I fell asleep, or maybe passed out, due to the severity o...
Read more

All Over the Map

My head, that is. Ladies and gentlemen, we have started our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full and upright locked position. Physically I was literally across the map last week, when that Paula Deen bitch took my first class seat, but I am now grounded in one location as my head explores many--at one time. You know an outlet is needed when your significant other masters the art of relevant replying to incessant questions and comments and you believe they hear you. And care. I'm crazy busy at work. Always, this time of year. Tis' the season. Incredibly, people who work with me (outside of my team and the client) can't comprehend why. Answer: Because I do my job--the way it's supposed to be done. So, loads of stress and late nights working. They actually shut the lights out on me tonight. At first I had visions of being attacked in the parking lot. Then, I thought, wow, that would get me out of conference calls tomorrow. Sad, I ...
Read more

Where have all the good people gone?

I am not the kind of person who will take your word at face value. There are a few that are the exception to the rule, namely my close friends, family and a few professional contacts. In general, I "get" people and can understand intentions simply by the way someone walks into a room, responds to an email, or looks (or doesn't) at me. Overall, I'm skeptical of most motives. Why? Because people are full of shit. They tell you what you want to hear, speak in generalities, play the blame game, distort information, angle for position, tell half truths and so on...please, feel free to add to my list. Why? Because most people don't like confrontation, and these full of shitters I speak of know the party they are manipulating likely won't challenge the statement or action. Some may call them smart...I, I call them disingenuous. Have some integrity, people. I'm not always right. I'm not always wrong. You won't always like me. You won't always ...
Read more