Who Nose What Will Happen

I've been seeing an ENT--that's ear, nose and throat--doctor. Surgeon actually, which is why every appointment is a 4-hour ordeal. It's worth it though, as he does actually spend time with me and this guy is incredibly knowledgeable. He pretty much explained away every ailment I have been suffering from since before I can even remember, including things you would not expect an ENT to know or treat.

Primary symptoms are irritating and incessant post-nasal drip (that's snot down the back of your throat), stuffiness at nighttime, and headaches on cue at 4pm each day. The diagnosis? Slightly deviated septum, irregularly small nasal passages, and TMJ caused by an orthodontist taking too many teeth out of my mouth and allowing my jaw to shift. Watch me eat. I open my mouth to the right. Never noticed this. Nice.

The treatment? A little allergy med to see if some of the symptoms are environmental. The next step possibly being surgery. Which is where the question comes into play.

I have been graced with this bump on my nose. I think it's hereditary, however, I seem to have it worse than other family members. I'm pretty sure I took a few smacks to it in gymnastics and brawling with my sister as well. It was a giant burden on my self-esteem as a child--think really big hair, small face, and bump on the nose--but eventually my face kinda grew into it and I learned to control my hair. The bump is still there, and I still detest pictures of my profile, but I have somewhat come to accept it.

If I get this surgery, it will be incredibly easy for them to simply "shave" away my bump. And of course, I do have a deviated septum thus it's 100% covered (take that Ashley Simpson). Had I been presented with this option at 22, I would not have hesitated for a moment. However, at 33 I find myself considering it, but incredibly fearful that I will be slashing away a sense of myself too, and as a result will hate the way I look.

On the other hand, does it hold the power to significantly increase my hotness by putting to rest this affliction of my vanity? Confidence is sexy. Not that I'm currently lacking of course.

It's not that I am opposed to plastic surgery. I guess I've just been fortunate enough to not be so bothered by any one body part that surgery was a consideration. I suppose I'm also (surprisingly) not all that vain. Physical beauty doesn't last so focus on building who you are, right? Maybe that's part of it. If I do get it, does it make me vain and will that in itself pull into question my beliefs? Not to mention, I want to write books, and I am currently way too pretty for that profession so I need to ugly it up a bit.

Yes, these are the things that go through my head. I think I'm over-thinking this, so I'm just going to stop.

I would like a little laser hair removal, however (and if anyone knows of way to get that covered by insurance, I'm all ears).


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