Dear Delta

You and me friend, we have a love-hate relationship. I heart you when you take me to warm places filled with frozen cocktails and fun, but despise you at 6:30am when you're taking me to Arkansas, DC and other places of no fancy. But I suppose we are going to have to make it work, because you and me? We're gonna be seeing a lot of each other.

You probably already know this, as you count up the dollars coming your way the next few months. By the way, thanks for the rate hike, my budget appreciates it. I know, it's oil prices, maybe you should consider corn. 

If this is going to work, let's get a few things straight.

First, I will be a Gold Medallion this year, and even though you now have Diamond and Platinum, I still spend more time with you than I do my godchildren, so I expect a few bones in the form of upgrades. Free cocktails will work too (on the return only).

Second, be on time. I have clients to see -- this is my livelihood -- and many of them are meeting me for the first time. They have to like me. On the flip side, I'm going to try and maintain some sort of normal life outside of work, so get me home when the schedule says you will. Please.

Third, you and I both know those electronic devices in Airplane Mode do not affect any radar systems (nor does my seat in the limited recline position). Let's get over this, and let me read my iPad during take off. I will be a much happier customer. An elated customer if I get in a much needed nap when you let me put my seat back

Fourth, I do like how the flight attendants are now addressing passengers before 10,000 feet. It indicates everything is normal and takes some of the "this is the time we're going down if we are going down" fear out of take off. Keep that up, as well as your tonal indicators. You rocked my world when you changed from 4 tones to 2 tones on landing. Let's be consistent. 

Fifth, stop charging those outrageous change fees. Shit happens. I'll still be flying the friendly skies with you, just not when I first told you I would. Really, it's a little ridiculous. Oh, and when I use my hard earned miles, don't charge me $150 to do so. That just makes me angry.

I would very much appreciate your cooperation. A relationship is a two-way street filled with compromise. And let's not forget Southwest is coming to town. I certainly won't.

All my love,

The Reluctant Business Traveler

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