Introducing Mrs. Saunders

Mrs. Saunders here. Back from my wedding and honeymoon a changed woman, and I'm not talking about my name or newly lost virginity.

A brief recap...

It's been one clusterf*ck of a month.

I haven't driven a car, worked out, gone to work, or killed a bottle of wine in 30 days. I did however manage to get married and take a Hawaiian vacation with my husband. Yes, my hussssband. Miracles somehow never cease.

I cruised through my wedding stone cold sober and exhausted, trying my best to smile and knowing this is only going to happen once in my lifetime. Or it's supposed to. I sure hope I looked the part.

As a little girl dreaming of my wedding, it was never about the dress or even the man. I was more focused on the fact that this would be the one and only time all the people I loved would be forced to watch me dance for four hours. All those years of dance class and numerous hours viewing Dance Fever, Solid Gold, In Living Color, and Soul Train culminating in my golden moment at my wedding.


You can imagine how this surgery almost killed my dream.

Which is why at one point I decided that while I may split in half the next day, this was my wedding and I was going to dance. Dance I did. I could barely stand at the end of the reception. I hope I said goodbye and thank you to everyone.

I hear my wedding was beautiful. Many tell me it was a good time. It was a very different event for me personally than I had envisioned, but I too felt it was wonderful. My vows were perfect. The ceremony was everything to me that day, and in the long run it's those little words (that we wrote ourselves I might add) that matter.

So then we went honeymooning. And surprise! I got sick because I hadn't been dealt a large enough pile of shit already. Days 1-3 were spent visiting the Minit Clinic and fully medicating. At least we had a nice view from the lanai of our rented home. Both of us exhausted from our awesome month, we spent most of our time just staring off into space or a book, sleeping, and thinking privately.

Then we went to the Four Seasons. I spent $1,000 on the spa. If you know me, you know that I don't spend $1,000 on anything, especially if it's for me and classified as entertainment or non-essential. And then there was the toast. I called to order room service one morning and was asked if I would like my bread light, medium or dark toasted. Seriously. The place gave me anxiety. Every time I wiped myself (they still let you do that yourself) I was sure it cost me a buck. While it was lovely playing celebrity for a few days, I learned that the rich are consumed with meaningless activities and over the top gestures because there is nothing else to want in this life when you can buy everything. No thank you.

While on vacation, I told my husband that I wanted to be a yoga instructor and write books. I wasn't kidding in the slightest. Going back to work on Monday should be interesting at the very least.

A note on my husband. God bless him.

Now we're home. Newly minted husband and wife, settling back in to a somewhat different life than we otherwise may have. Someday I'll be able to articulate exactly what it is that has changed, but for now I know that it's a feeling. It's a perspective. While it's been hell, and I assure you it has, I know that the experience has better equipped us to handle, well, life. We were tested early, and we succeeded. We learned a lot about ourselves, a lot about each other, and a whole hell of a lot about what's important.

Here's to Mr. and Mrs. Saunders and the next chapter.